Welcome to hell. This month we're talking about Elf Bowling: The Movie, sometimes subtitled "The Great North Pole Elf Strike", which is senseless because no strike actually happens. Did you know that Santa and his brother Dingle were bloodthirsty pirates before Santa became Santa? I bet you didn't, you buffoon! Luckily this movie is here to give you an education, however meandering, tasteless, and ugly it might be.